Monday, July 22, 2013

Ten Things I Hate About You - Self Tanning

I hate self tanners

1, You think you are a pro...oh look a nice big streak on your leg, that'll teach you to get cocky.
2, How many coats are enough? One coat I look anemic...four coats I look an oompa loompa.
3, When you are wearing wash off tan and it begins to rain, trust me Usian Bolt would come in second in that race for shelter.
4, No self tanning upkeep and you begin to look like you have some tropical disease. At best a patchwork quilt of white, tan and shame.
5, Oh have you been on holiday you look lovely and naturally tanned...said no one ever!
6, No foundation quite matches a deep faux me.
7, Doing the tramp tan (only tanning the areas on show) and realising the next day you are going swimming.
8, After sun with self tan, why you give me false impression of my tan progress?
9, Yep I totally love smelling like a biscuit factory, it is what all the boys love that and brown stained sheets. Yum!
10, Orange palms need I say more?

As you can tell my self tanning experience hasn't always been a walk in the park! Oh life.

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  1. Hahahahha, a very nice description of why I avoid self-tanning, although I'm ghastly pale :D

  2. Omg I love this!!!! No 7. Was me all winter haha gotta love the tramp tan xx

  3. Haha love this. Some tans though do look ok, it just takes a lottt of work. I find showering helps most tans look ok but I never wear wash off tan for the rain reason! Xen Tan is the best self tan hands down, especially for pale people like me!

    Paula ♥ | xo

  4. I agree entirely Eli, some of the many reasons I dont use fake tans. Ill stick to my gradual tanner and having to spend 8 years under sunshine to tan.

    Becca of

  5. Haha, white tan and shame is so true! xx

  6. Absolutely love this post and it's so true!

    Hannah, x

  7. Haha, I love this post! They're all so true xx

    D Is For...

  8. Hahaha I'm awful at self-tan! Love this post, really funny
    Emma x

  9. Is it just me who simply can't be bothered? Any time I've fancied slapping on a bit of colour I'm always put off by the amount of prep time needed - by the time I've defuzzed/exfoliated/moisturised every inch I've got bored of the idea.

  10. Hahaha tramp tan! So funny.
    I tanned last week for graduation now have to keep up with it!

  11. Haha I love this post, so witty

  12. Great post, i agree with all these argument.

  13. Aha white, tan and shame sums up my fake tan issues perfectly, I find that if I put the effort and time into it then it looks great but it has to be a lot of time and a lot of effort, so I can never really be bothered.
    Rosalie x

  14. Number 9 alone is the reason why I don't wear fake tan! I tried those ones that say "no fake-tan smell". Lies!
    My nose didn't want to be a part of my body any more...

  15. OH MY GOD you literally took the words out of my mouth, i had this exact same conversation at work today and everything you said is pretty much the same as i did haha!
    So true, although i hate being pale, id rather not walk around with patchy orange stains along with nice obvious hand and wrist lines, no thanks!


  16. Fab post! I am guilty of the "tramp tan" haha x

  17. Liz Earle made the Best. Tan. Ever. It was a really light spray, you didn't have to be particular about it, just whack it on and the next morning you'd have a light colour which looked convincing, even on a redhead like me. Then the government decided that all tanning ingredients had to be re-tested (on animals) and so LE discontinued the product because they refuse to test on animals. Bloody typical!!

  18. You basically said it all.

    Sun tanning gives the prettiest glow but I'm traumatized. I have a friend who tans excessively in the sun and looks like a leather purse!

  19. Hahahaha I love this! <3 xx.

  20. LOL @ #7.. Happens all of the time. My friends wanted to go to the beach the other day but I declined because I had super tan feet, hands & forearms and neck, while the rest of my body was pasty white. haha!!!

  21. So true! One day I will master the art of self tanning without looking like a streaky oompa loompa...if that's ever possible! x

  22. The tramp tan!! My favourite! I literally laughed out loud!
    Jo x


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